rain-soaked front garden, Aberdeen, 18 May 2013.

Earlier in the day I sprinted out of the house to meet Jill from Land of the Big Sky in the city centre.  It was so great to see her!

Me and Jill in the Coffee House, Gaelic Lane, Aberdeen. 18 May 2013.  The dynamo (on the right) is at rest for a wee minute!

Jill and I had a good catch-up.  Sadly, Tina was unwell and couldn’t make it.  Instead, she made a beautiful doll!  We will try to have another get-together before I head south for Glasgow (some people may say I headed south long ago!!). 

I’ve said it before, but blogging has been a wonderful way to make friends.  Many of the people I’ve met through blogging I’ll probably never have a chance to meet in person, but it’s so fun when blog-friends can actually get together.

Happy start to the new week, everyone!

Various daffodils / narcissi in my garden, Aberdeen, 7 May 2013.

As you can see, there are some that are yellow with orange trumpets, some that are all-yellow, some that are white with yellow trumpets, and some that are all-white.  There are tiny all-yellow tête-à-tête daffodils at the very left of the photo, and mixed in there (I happen to know) are the tiny and incredibly fragrant “canaliculatus”.  They have tiny white flowers with tiny yellow trumpets and one stem in a vase can scent a room.  I particularly love the all-white daffodils “Mt. Hood” because they remind me of Oregon.  The “pheasant” daffodil, white with a flat reddish trumpet, is also beautifully scented.  And there’s a gorgeously scented double variety (planted by the previous owners of our flat over 11 years ago) whose bloom is so heavy it almost always falls over under its own weight, forcing me to bring it inside where I can enjoy it even more.

I’ve ordered my bulbs for years from the family firm Clare Bulbs in Suffolk, England.  Their website shows the many varieties of daffodils they sell (the Latin name for the daffodil family is “narcissus”), and gives a lot of good information.  One of the pleasures of ordering with them is that Andy always phones to say he’s received the order, and then again to say they’ve been shipped.  I feel as if they’re family friends now, and they’ve always given very good gardening advice.   My order this year will have to be small, as I will probably only plant a few varieties of bulbs in some pots until I can get the garden of our new house a bit more sorted.  But we can’t be without daffodils!

I see they also breed laboradors, but I don’t think Tilly would appreciate me ordering one of those.

We went for what we call a “wheelchair walk”.  This means that the Dafter walks for a bit, rests in the chair while I push her, walks for a bit more if she can manage, and so on.  She was perfectly colour coordinated with her wheelchair on this day:

Going on a wheelchair walk with the Dafter in the Duthie Park, Aberdeen, 6 May 2013.

I may have said this before, but the wheelchair is like a friend to us.  It makes all the difference.

The City of Aberdeen has restored granite posts at a new entrance to the park, along Riverside Drive.  The river, which is tidal because we’re very close to where it joins the North Sea, was very low that afternoon.  You can see the pebble beach of the riverbank.

You can also see the white and yellow daffodils on the other side of the river (the white daffodils almost look like a wall, or a road, sloping up below the houses).  One of the hallmarks of spring in Aberdeen is the vast drifts of spring bulbs planted in parks and roadside verges.  I believe this was the work of David Welch, who was in charge of the public gardens and green spaces for many years.  The Winter Gardens were renamed after him.

New entrance to the Duthie Park along Riverside Drive, Aberdeen. 6 May 2013.

I didn’t notice until later that a person seems to be dunking their head in the fountain!  Well, for Aberdeen, it was a particularly fine day.

The series of ponds, stretching from the top of the park down to the road, has been restored.  I like the wee island full of daffodils:

Restored ponds at the Duthie Park, Aberdeen. 5 May 2013.

Here is a view of the uppermost pond, looking across to the bandstand:

Upper pond, looking towards the bandstand.  The Duthie Park, Aberdeen, 6 May 2013.

And here is the view from in front of the Winter Gardens, looking towards the river again (with the white drifts of daffodils evident behind the obelisk).  The obelisk originally stood in Marischal College, where the medical school was located for many years.  It was paid for by medical students and is to honour James McGrigor, who founded medical studies in the city.

The Duthie Park, Aberdeen. Looking towards the River Dee and the obelisk in honour of James McGrigor. 6 May 2013.

In front of the Winter Gardens is this fountain, which memorialises Alexander Taylor, Merchant of Aberdeen.  The verse on this side says:  “He prayeth best who lovest best / all things both great and small”.

Memorial fountain in the Duthie Park, Aberdeen. 6 May 2013.

I have to say that I’m sorry they took all the roses away from the rose mound.  I used to love to go there and be amongst masses of roses.  The mound has been restored to its original rose-less shape, with an Aberdeen City Council flag flying high from its crest:

The Mound at the Duthie Park, Aberdeen. 6 May 2013.

As you can see, they are still redoing parts of the flower beds.  There may indeed be some roses by the time they’re finished!

Wishing you all an excellent week -

On the cognitive / concentration side of things, there’s been a slight improvement.  For example, she’s now able to do art occasionally, although today it’s been over three weeks since she was well enough to do any art.  She enjoys photography, although sorting photographs on the computer can be very tiring.  She’s able to follow some t.v. series, i.e. watching new storylines with familiar characters and settings.  She’s able to play certain games on the computer, and doesn’t find this too tiring.  She’s been able to read a little bit in the past two months, as well.  However, concentration remains a big problem.  When she’s very unwell, she’s unable to follow what I’m saying to her, for example.  We have learned never to interrupt her, and also to keep our voices low and noise levels down.

On the physical side of things, she’s been able to get out of the house more often, perhaps every other day on average now.  She’s much better able to move around inside the house.  She monitors her energy very carefully and usually has one meal upstairs every day so that she can conserve her energy and doesn’t get stuck trying to get back upstairs.  She has fewer collapses and they don’t last as long as they did.  Whereas in November she had a collapse almost every day, and often it would be well over an hour before she could speak and move again, now I would say about half the time she gets through the day without a collapse.  When she does have one, it usually doesn’t last much more than half an hour.  It still takes her most of the morning to wake up, have breakfast and get dressed, but she remains determined not to sleep during the day and always to change into her clothes and come downstairs.

Educationally, she is still unable to do much at all, but there’s definite progress insofar as she now goes to a tutoring session for about half-an-hour once a week.  She’s managed three out of four sessions so far, and will continue to do all she can until the end of June when the school year ends.  She has a good relationship with this tutor, and is determined to prove the hospital tutor wrong – the one who in October said the Dafter “wasn’t positive enough,” wasn’t trying hard enough and was “too cosy at home”.

On most days, she has to choose one thing to try to do.  If she has an appointment, a tutoring session or a visit, then she probably won’t be able to do 10 minutes of art.  However, there have been more days in the past few months where she has managed to do, for example, 10 minutes of art and also go out.

So there’s progress, but she is still a very sick child.  Not to be too dramatic about it, but this photo shows you the everyday reality of ME:

The Dafter, now 15, on a bad ME day.  Photo taken mid-morning.

Most days there are periods when she is too tired to move, aches all over, and is very lonely and fed-up of being so ill and missing out on life.  You can see the tear on her face here.  I also see the dark, dark circles under her eyes, which never go away.  The loneliness of ME is one of the very worst things.  She sees someone her own age on average twice a month, for a visit no longer than an hour.  It’s been over a year since she was in a group of other kids her age.  We have often said that if parents were purposefully keeping a child isolated at home like this, there would be outrage.  But what can you do?  People are busy, and you can’t legislate children’s relationships.   Online ME groups can be helpful, but it can also be frightening to read about other people’s experiences.  When the Dafter is well enough to go out amongst people – and being in a noisy crowd is overwhelming, so that isn’t often – she likes to smile at people and have some interaction that way.

Another difficult thing is not knowing what course the illness will take, or how long recovery will take.  In February 2012, the paediatrician said that in most cases, ME in teenagers takes 4 to 5 years for a full recovery.  We know enough about ME now to know that sometimes it can be much longer.  And we are also very aware that some people with ME – including children younger than the Dafter – would dearly love to be as well as she is.  We have a lot to be thankful for.

My own focus is still guided by my minister’s advice, which he gave me during the initial onset of her infections in the autumn of 2011.  He said to me, “Don’t have a specific outcome in your mind as to how this will turn out,” and “Enjoy her.”  I do enjoy the Dafter’s company immensely, and I only wish that I could do more to help her feel better.  I keep a mental image of her healed and healthy true self firmly in my mind, and I know that one day she will get there.

I’ll leave you with this much happier image of the Dafter on a good afternoon:

The Dafter on a good day, 7 May 2013, Aberdeen.  (She and I are toasting each other with glasses of soda.)

As I’ve said before, during this dark time she has matured and grown enormously.  Someone said to her, “Once you’re well, you’ll forget all about having been ill.”  That will never happen.  This illness has been devastating, and has shaped who she is at a deep level.  As well as causing much suffering, it has brought some gifts.  She may be very incapacitated but she is also immensely strong and courageous, and her priorities are no doubt now very different from what they would have been had this not happened.  She’s also had to be enormously creative in finding ways not to lose her mind out of sheer boredom during this time.

She very much appreciates all the good wishes that come her way via my blog, and she would like to write her own update when she can.  Thank you all again, from the bottom of my heart.  We’ll get there!

On Sunday morning I had a rare treat – some time all to myself to go for a walk in a beautiful garden.  I’d never been to Glasgow’s famous Botanic Gardens, and they didn’t disappoint.  In comparison to Aberdeen, Glasgow seemed positively lush with green, as the trees there had begun coming into leaf.  And the warmth!  I didn’t need two cardigans under my spring coat, or a hat!

Glasgow Botanic Garden parterres, 5 May 2013

Glasgow Botanic Gardens are renown for their glass houses:

(Some of) the glass houses, Glasgow Botanic Gardens, 5 May 2013.

I didn’t have time to go inside.  The plants there are so happy they have seemingly filled every available space.

Glass houses, Glasgow Botanic Gardens, 5 May 2013

That will be an adventure for another day.  I thought this view down from a hill was so beautiful, with the sun illuminating the glass house at the bottom:

Looking down at the glass houses, Glasgow Botanic Gardens, 5 May 2013

It’s lovely to see the tiny leaves just burgeoning on the branches, but at the same time the crisp outlines of the trees allow one to see vistas that will soon be obscured:

View towards the Great Western Road and beyond, from Glasgow Botanic Gardens, 5 May 2013

And as if that weren’t enough, there’s a cafe!  The Tea Room at the Botanics.  I got to sit here and have a coffee:

Having a cuppa, Glasgow Botanic Gardens, 5 May 2013

Oh what a treat, let me tell you!  The staff were very friendly, and offered a dish of water to a dog sitting (with its owners) at a table outside.

One thing I really loved about the gardens was the variety of landscapes.  There’s so much there I didn’t have time to see, including what looked like a fabulous garden for children.  And there were some wild corners as well.  When I see slender white birch trees I always think of fairy tales in which fair maidens are turned into birches:

A quiet corner of Glasgow Botanic Gardens, 5 May 2013.

It was a very restorative break in amongst such a busy week.  I can’t wait until the Dafter can come with me – though she’s not nearly as into gardens as I am.  I’ve been meaning to do a bit of an update on her, which I will soon.  She’d like to write a guest post about how she’s doing, but that takes a lot of time and energy for her these days, so it may be a little while.

My morning in the gardens reminded me of just how much I have to be thankful for, and also how much there is to look forward to.  I hope you’re all having a very good week!

last fire in Aberdeen, April 2013

It was very light at 7:15 pm, but chilly outside and in, and so the fire was welcome.

This morning, I cuddled beautiful Tilly in bed and admired her lovely white bib and paws for the umpteenth time – you know how cats are, they can never get enough admiration.  We then got the morning underway, which is a long process of helping the Dafter to awake and get up and breakfasted and dressed, etc.  Tilly reappeared and I picked her up, only to discover with horror that she was covered in soot!

No doubt she heard the seagulls or pigeons at the top of the chimney, and thought, they’re just up there out of reach!  And we must have forgotten to lock the fire guard into place after our last fire.  For this is not the first time Tilly has gone up the chimney!  (The Dafter:  “When Tilly got stuck up the chimney / we began to scream / Oh my God she’s covered in soot / we’ve got to get her clean!” – sung to the tune of “When Santa Got Stuck Up the Chimney”)

Then ensued a good hour of me chasing her around our small bathroom with various wet cloths and towels.

Tilly, our little chimney sweep – having been cleaned off! 30 April 2013.

She’s now dry again, and has been brushed many times, and is confined to the kitchen.  I leave you to imagine the mess in the bathroom!  Walls, bathtub, floor…  covered with sooty marks.

Her paws and bib will be white again in a few weeks’ time.

I’ve been fortunate enough this past week to be able to go for evening walks.  A few nights ago, I saw the most beautiful mother-of-pearl clouds.  My photograph doesn’t do it justice at all, but can you see the pink and green in the clouds?

nacreous clouds, April 2013, Aberdeen

And the River Dee was similarly coloured on a recent evening walk:

The River Dee in Aberdeen about 8:15 pm, April 2013.

Usually the daffodils along the river are all out at the beginning of April; this year they are just beginning to flower.  I’ll try to show you them in their full beauty when they’re at their best.

Happy rest of your weekend!

Daffodils in Aberdeen, April 2013

The blossoming plum trees are still not in flower, but if we have a few more days like this they soon will be.  I had a blissful hour weeding out dandelions in our garden yesterday evening.  I love these little wood anemones.  They’re volunteers, I never planted them.  And as you can see, they have some pink cousins in with the purple ones.

Tête-à-tête narcissi and anemones amongst tulip shoots. My garden in Aberdeen, 22 April 2013.

I will miss my garden very much, but I’ve learned a great deal from my 11 years of gardening here, and I am VERY excited about making a new garden in Glasgow! (I like the old expression “to make garden” – I’ve read it in Laura Ingalls Wilder and Willa Cather.)

I hope you’re all having a good week and that springtime is coming to you as well (for those in the Northern Hemisphere).

Glasgow terraced houses (from Zoopla.com)

There are shops and parks nearby, and good bus and rail connections to the city centre.  Michael will be able to cycle to work.  Who knows, maybe I’ll get back on my bicycle some day as well?

If anyone’s interested about how one goes about buying a house in Scotland, the process is more or less like this:

1.  Sign up to about six different agencies who sell houses.  Some of them are sollicitors and some of them are estate agents.  (In Aberdeen, they’re all sollicitors.)

2.  Watch your emails and the internet like a hawk.

3.  The moment a new property comes up on the market, book a viewing.

4.  If, as happened to us, the house is bought from under your nose before you can even see it, next time have your sollicitor note an interest before you’ve even seen a property so that they can’t sell without telling you and giving you a shot at it.

5.  Read the surveyor’s home report and try to understand the difference between woodworm, dry rot, wet rot and damp.  Similarly, try to work out which repairs are deemed critical, and which are only recommended, and why.  After reading a dozen or so of these reports, conclude that the valuations of properties are hugely subjective and vary enormously.

6.  Go to view the property.  If only one of you can view the property, have a very clear idea of what your priorities are, which unchangeable things you require, and how much you are willing to compromise on the rest.  Arrange a number of skype and phone calls to discuss the relative merits and demerits of the property.  Try to reach a frame of mind where you realise that having a utility room, open fire, guest room that fits a double bed, and other such luxuries are actually not the very most important thing.  Discuss the indefinables such as how the house feels at some length.

7.  Do as much research as you can about the school catchment area.  It helps if you’re willing to leave schooling up to divine intervention.

6.  If after steps 3 to 7 you want to try to buy the property, look at your budget and pick a number over the “offers-over” price, which you think might beat the other bidders’ own bids.  The number should end with -999 or -499, or you might opt for some startling figure that ends in -714 for example.  Discuss this number with your sollicitor and agree that No One Has A Crystal Ball.

7.  Pay for your sollicitor to prepare your bid.  Wait anxiously for the day and time of the bidding.  It may happen (as it did to us) that once all the bids have been opened, the seller decides they don’t want to sell after all.

8.  Begin again at step 2.

Once you’ve managed to agree a sale, you can relax a little bit, but you must remember that nothing is set in stone until your Missives Have Been Concluded.  This is a mysterious process best left to sollicitors.  It may involve more investigation of wet rot, possibly at your expense, or paperwork relating to Certificates of Completion and the like.

You will also need to attend to the matter of transferring (“porting”) your existing mortgage to your new property, and this may require you to do handstands down at the bank.  However, I won’t go into that now.  Or ever, at least not on this blog.

It’s wonderful to have a place to move into – they have agreed to a moving-in date of 1st of August, just what we needed.  Now we have a real focus for the start of our new life.  We can start transferring the Dafter’s medical care and education team.  I am so thankful!  Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers, we really appreciate them.

The Nutcracker Christmas Shop in Callander, April 2013.

We returned the next day – twice in fact – and it was all a Christmas-lover could have hoped for, and more:

We have a family tradition of picking out a new ornament for the tree every year.  Normally this happens in November or December, but we now have our ornament for 2013 – one that says “Callander” on it, to remind us of this fun trip.  Look at the expression on the Dafter’s face!

In the Nutracker Christmas shop, Callander. April 2013.

The shop owner was very friendly, and allowed me to take photos of the shop.  I’d never seen anything like these amazing carved wooden arches before:

Beautiful wooden carvings in the Nutracker Christmas Shop, Callander. April 2013.

She told us that not only does she have the shop in Callander – which was never short of customers during our two visits – but there are three others!  Two more in Scotland and one in Stratford-upon-Avon.

We had such a fun time.  It wasn’t too hard to feel Christmassy with the freezing cold weather and the occasional flake of snow, but we’ve been known to sing Christmas carols in July at our house, so perhaps we’re a bit extreme.  You can find out more on the Nutracker Christmas Shop website here

Perhaps a visit to the Christmas Village in Crieff should be planned?  For the summertime?  Hmm…